ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your resting heart rate is excellent.
It's had nothing else to do.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Romance isn't dead. It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from…
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- Your friends' group chat went quiet. It didn't. They made a new one. Same…
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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