ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
FRIDAY, 24 DECEMBER 1999
You swore you'd never sound like your parents.
You just said "because I said so" in your dad's exact voice. He lives in you now.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your friends' group chat went quiet. It didn't. They made a new one. Same…
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
- Your complaint has been escalated. It is now ignored by someone more senior.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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