ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Find your purpose. It's in the drawer with the takeaway menus and a key…
- Your boss hasn't taken a sick day in ten years. He has, however, given…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
- Quality family time: everyone on a different screen in the same room, harvested by…
- Your company's core values are printed on the wall. So nobody has to have…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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