ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
"It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years.
You're the phase they'll describe to a therapist.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- You can do anything you set your mind to. Your mind has set itself…
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- You manifested your dream job. The universe received the request, checked your CV and…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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