ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You left them on read "to be mysterious".
They didn't notice. They were also being mysterious. You're now two mysteries who will never speak again.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
- Unlimited holiday is a lovely policy. The company did the maths on your guilt,…
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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