ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad.
The news is still bad. Your eyes are warmer. So is your overdraft.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad. The…
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
- Unlimited holiday is a lovely policy. The company did the maths on your guilt,…
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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