ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You flipped a water bottle on Monday morning just to feel something.
It landed. Enjoy that. It's the last thing this week that will.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- Not all who wander are lost. You are. The map gave up.
- You are a valued member of the team. So was the last person in…
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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