ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing.
When you leave, someone will fight over the plant.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You moneymaxxed so hard this month you earned $4.80 in cashback. It cost three…
- No pain, no gain. You chose neither. Your heart has noted it in your…
- The consultation runs for twelve weeks. The decision was made in week zero.
- You flipped a water bottle on Monday morning just to feel something. It landed.…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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