ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Every parent has a favourite child.
It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
- Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.…
- Some days you're the pigeon. Most days you're the statue, and nobody remembers who…
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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