ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January.
It's been screaming quietly ever since.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- No pain, no gain. You chose neither. Your heart has noted it in your…
- Monday has its own support group. The group is everyone. The meetings are also…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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