ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're "chronically online".
Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have a loading icon.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- Think outside the box. The box had the budget. You're out here with a…
- Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…
- Some days you're the pigeon. Most days you're the statue, and nobody remembers who…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- Make your money work for you. Yours quit in 2019. It works for your…
- You have 47 tabs open. Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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