ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You say you're "an old soul".
You're 21. The only old thing about you is your phone's battery health.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "romanticise studying". You've filmed it, lit it and soundtracked it. You haven't studied.
- Nobody has ever said "thank goodness it's Monday". Except a manager, and he meant…
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- You said "it's giving" about your own life. It's giving overdraft. It's giving rent…
- Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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