ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner.
You'll eat standing up for eighteen years. Then sit down and forget how.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- Your company's core values are printed on the wall. So nobody has to have…
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- “Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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