ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You wanted a mini-me.
You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost to you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- AI agrees with you more than any human ever has. That's not wisdom. That's…
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
One quote. Every morning. Delivered before coffee, when you are weakest and the day has not yet had the chance to disappoint you itself.
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