ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious.
Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it to Tuesday.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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