ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You can do anything you set your mind to.
Your mind has set itself to lying down. Permanently. With snacks.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- You manifested your dream job. The universe received the request, checked your CV and…
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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