ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Every relationship has a honeymoon period.
Yours was the walk from the bar to the taxi rank. She got in alone.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
- “Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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