ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad.
The news is still bad. Your eyes are warmer. So is your overdraft.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- Skipping your daily coffee won't buy you a house. Nothing will. Have the coffee.
- Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress". It said the…
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people. All of them are "just seeing…
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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