ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress".
It said the same when you opened it by accident. It'll keep saying it after you've gone, if nobody cancels the subscription.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people. All of them are "just seeing…
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
- The first email you open on Monday is a reply-all from Friday. Forty replies.…
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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