ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your call is important to us.
Not important enough to answer, but important.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
- Your job title will outlive you. It's already been posted on LinkedIn, with a…
- You have 47 tabs open. Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a…
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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