ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your fitness journey started on the second of January.
It ended on the fourth. The trainers still have the tags on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…
- Your 47 open tabs are an accurate map of your inner life. Someone will…
- The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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