ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- The house will be tidy again one day. The day they move out. Tidy,…
- You've got a side hustle, a passion project and a podcast. Combined monthly income:…
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
- When life gives you lemons, it sends the invoice later. With interest.
- Money can't buy happiness. You'll never have enough to check.
- You "don't believe in labels". You believe in being kept as an option.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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