ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Money can't buy happiness. You'll never have enough to check.
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- Hard work pays off eventually. It's paying off right now. Your boss just bought…
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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