ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Kids grow up so fast.
Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and you age a decade.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- Hard work pays off eventually. It's paying off right now. Your boss just bought…
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- Your business plan has three phases: launch, pivot, and letting the domain quietly expire.
- Your banking app pauses slightly before opening. It's deciding how to tell you.
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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