ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
“I'm here for the right reasons.”
The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a fake tan.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- Some meetings could have been an email. You'll spend four years of your one…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. You took it…
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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