ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You quit your job to "find yourself".
Found you. You're on your parents' sofa, and the Wi-Fi password has been changed.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- Nobody has ever said "thank goodness it's Monday". Except a manager, and he meant…
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- Some meetings could have been an email. You'll spend four years of your one…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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