ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your soulmate is out there.
Currently leaving someone better on read.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. You took it…
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- Lessons will be learned. By whom, and when, will also be learned. Eventually. Possibly.
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings. It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing,…
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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