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ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED

DAILY DEMOTIVATION

A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.

ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION MONDAY, 28 MARCH 2005
A good night out now means home by ten.
Nobody had to come and get you. Nobody offered.

— Zack, unqualified

VERIFIED
UNHELPFUL

PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE

  1. Money can't buy happiness. You'll never have enough to check.
  2. Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
  3. You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
  4. Find your purpose. It's in the drawer with the takeaway menus and a key…
  5. Strangers online have voted you "not wrong". The same strangers once voted to give…
  6. You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
  7. Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.

THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR

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Newsletter / Issue No. 445

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