ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your back now goes out when you sneeze.
It goes out more than you do.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- Money can't buy happiness. You'll never have enough to check.
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- Find your purpose. It's in the drawer with the takeaway menus and a key…
- Strangers online have voted you "not wrong". The same strangers once voted to give…
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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