ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're "chronically online".
Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have a loading icon.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- It's not a career ladder. It's a hamster wheel. The hamster has a LinkedIn…
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- Wisdom comes with age. So does standing on the landing with no idea why…
- Running clears your head. Mostly of the idea that you're a runner.
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. Your overdraft found it first.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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