ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see my screen?"
You can. You always will.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. Your overdraft found it first.…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- It's not a career ladder. It's a hamster wheel. The hamster has a LinkedIn…
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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