ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Inside every older person is a younger person.
The younger person is furious about the knees.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
- You quit your job to "find yourself". Found you. You're on your parents' sofa,…
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- Core collaboration days started as Tuesday. They now include Wednesday, Thursday, a Friday that's…
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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