ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone.
Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do Not Answer".
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- Romance isn't dead. It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from…
- You put "entrepreneur" in your bio. You've sold one pair of trainers on Vinted…
- It's not a career ladder. It's a hamster wheel. The hamster has a LinkedIn…
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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