ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you.
It's not proud. It's given up. Even the bird has moved on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- Your 47 open tabs are an accurate map of your inner life. Someone will…
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
- Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January. It's been screaming…
- Every company now has an AI assistant. It's the only member of staff nobody's…
- Opposites attract. Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the…
- The return to office is completely optional. So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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