ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
No pain, no gain.
You chose neither. Your heart has noted it in your file.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- Your 47 open tabs are an accurate map of your inner life. Someone will…
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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