ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You say you're "an old soul".
You're 21. The only old thing about you is your phone's battery health.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- Your 47 open tabs are an accurate map of your inner life. Someone will…
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
- Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January. It's been screaming…
- Every company now has an AI assistant. It's the only member of staff nobody's…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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