ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Kids grow up so fast.
Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and you age a decade.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
- When life gives you lemons, it sends the invoice later. With interest.
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad. The…
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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