ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your 47 open tabs are an accurate map of your inner life.
Someone will close them after the funeral. Unread.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Monday is a perfectly normal day. You've got about two thousand more of them.…
- You're "healing your inner child". Your inner child is fine. It's your outer adult…
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
- When life gives you lemons, it sends the invoice later. With interest.
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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