ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your favourite music is now called "a classic".
So are you. It means old.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Nobody has ever said "thank goodness it's Monday". Except a manager, and he meant…
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
- Monday has its own support group. The group is everyone. The meetings are also…
- Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress". It said the…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- Move fast and break things. You broke the coffee machine, the budget and your…
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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