ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Consistency is key.
You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only consistent thing about you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…
- Every great company started in a garage. Yours will end there too. The car's…
- Monday motivation is a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave,…
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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