ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad.
The news is still bad. Your eyes are warmer. So is your overdraft.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- Romance isn't dead. It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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