ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You say you're "an old soul".
You're 21. The only old thing about you is your phone's battery health.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- Quality family time: everyone on a different screen in the same room, harvested by…
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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