ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Growing old is mandatory.
Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later. Nothing happened.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Life is short. A measurable chunk of it will be spent in the post…
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- Some days you're the pigeon. Most days you're the statue, and nobody remembers who…
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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