ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You pre-ordered it for the cape.
The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
- You're not a CEO. You're one person with a logo, a free email account…
- Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- Start the week strong. Or at 9:14, camera off, pretending your face is a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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