ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The customer is always right.
The customer is also on hold, forever, which is exactly how the company likes it.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- You flipped a water bottle on Monday morning just to feel something. It landed.…
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- Wildflowering means letting the relationship grow naturally, with no timeline. It has the growth…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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