ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The update is 200GB.
Your free afternoon was smaller.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
- Underconsumption core is a beautiful aesthetic. It's what the last week of the month…
- The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- You flipped a water bottle on Monday morning just to feel something. It landed.…
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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