ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Loud budgeting is telling everyone you can't afford brunch.
Quiet budgeting is going anyway, checking your balance in the car and moving retirement to 79.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people. All of them are "just seeing…
- Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams than you've had about anything since…
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- Your company's core values are printed on the wall. So nobody has to have…
- Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams than you've had about anything since…
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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