ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You left them on read "to be mysterious".
They didn't notice. They were also being mysterious. You're now two mysteries who will never speak again.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- Monday is a core collaboration day. As, it turns out, is every day ending…
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
- Youth is wasted on the young. You wasted yours too. Old age is next,…
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- Some days you're the pigeon. Most days you're the statue, and nobody remembers who…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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