ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Youth is wasted on the young.
You wasted yours too. Old age is next, and you've got form.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- Some days you're the pigeon. Most days you're the statue, and nobody remembers who…
- Loud budgeting is telling everyone you can't afford brunch. Quiet budgeting is going anyway,…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see…
- You said you "thrive in a fast-paced environment". It took you three days to…
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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