ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You got a houseplant to "take care of something".
It died. Even the plant had better boundaries than you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
- You said "it's giving" about your own life. It's giving overdraft. It's giving rent…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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